Friends

I know I've already posted today, but I was just thinking. I probably need some new friends.

Jayne and Libby and Kelsey - people I had never even talked to before this year - treat me like a person. Riz and Erin treat me like I'm an object. Like I'm just some heavy deadweight they have to carry around everywhere. Last year Erin made me her emotional punching bag for the last two months of it.

She hasn't realised, but I still haven't let her back in.

I have a group of ten "best friends" and we're all "tight" and we can all "trust one another." The thing is, they lie to each other and me, spread rumours about others and incessantly bitch about people who don't conform to their ideas. There isn't a single person in that group who hasn't stabbed me in the back.

So I'm seriously thinking, why am I even still around them? They don't give a shit about me, or if they do, they don't show it. Why aren't I hanging with Jayne, who used to smoke weed but is a nicer person, or Libby, who has depression and is on a thousand different medications but treats me better?

Nicolina and Kelsey (from my group) only ever message me when they want me to cover their shifts at work. Nessy confides in me and then pushes me away. Monique, let's not go there.

Jamie? I have no idea who he is anymore.

Sorry for ranting. Nobody reads this anyway I suppose.

the sensational crusader. (: