29/4/10

So here's the thing. I've been in kind of a slump. Josh died on the 29th of last month from osteosarcoma. It's a really aggressive form of bone cancer. He was only a year older than I was and we were kind of friends. He's been fighting it for 4 years and somehow we all figured he was gonna get better.

He was seventeen.

It really shook me I guess, because even though I know it's possible to die before you're even really an adult, I never fully realised it until the sunday before he died, and I was standing on the backstep and it was just a beautiful day, and I just suddenly thought "he's never gonna see this again."

I sort of woke up on Thursday morning, and (I know this sounds corny) but while I was drying my hair I said "this is it." And when I got to school Kelsey told me that he was gone and I was like "I know."

They had an assembly, and me and Riz were holding it together just fine until Mr Browne (the principal) said "he will be missed" and his voice cracked, you could barely tell but it was still there. I tuned out for the rest of the assembly.

Anyway, afterwards I wrote this:

Sixteen, emotion
Love, pain, feeling
I see those too
Seventeen
Snapshot
Not yet there
Moments...
All leading up to this.

the sensational crusader (: