Friday, February 25, 2011


Okay, so I'm going to be getting rid of my cbox. Because all I get are SPAMMERS! >:( I'll make a contact button for anybody who wants to use it though :) don't hesitate, either.

So the first few weeks of year 12 have been pretty hectic. I had 3 tests today (it's a friday -.-) and I have 3 more next week. I'm drowning under the weight of my homework haha. But it's only for another 7 months :)

Swimming carnival is coming up, which means a day off school for me. I don't swim. I drown. I doggy paddle. But I don't swim. Does anybody else sympathise with me here? But I'll take some pictures and ask my friends if it's okay to upload them :) We've had really nice weather here after all the flooding, but pray for the people of New Zealand. Their whole country is being shaken by earthquakes measuring 6.7 on the Richter scale. There are more than 75 people dead and over 500 still missing in rubble :(

I don't really have anything else to say haha. Nothing deep, nothing meaningful, just an update.

OH! AND I HAVE TEN FOLLOWERS! Thanks Ashley for following :)

-a solitary blue

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Before You Speak

You know it's serious when I update twice in three days. Two updates in a week? Pshh. Things are getting serious. Haha.

I'm doing Relay For Life again (why? Why am I doing this? Because it's one sleepless night that could save a little kid's life, that's why) and this year our shirts are lime green. Which is one of my favourite colours :D But yeah, I'm doing it so that maybe I can feel like I've contributed, even just a small amount.

I can't say the same for my friends.

Since we're in year 12 now, we have our own common room, which can be awesome because it's separated from the junior school and also has microwaves and a kettle (noodles and hot chocolate :D) and it can also be pretty awful. That many different people gathered in a room that small? Yeah, we don't exactly all get along.

Anyway, my whole group was sitting at one of the tables (and on them - there were only enough spaces for 8 people and there's 12 of us) and a girl I know from work came over. She's one of the "populars" but she fights with them a lot. She'd had a fight with them today and I'm the only other person she really knows.

She says to me "can I sit with you guys today?" and I say "sure."

The rest of my group, with the exception of Riz, Grace and Enyar, say "no."

What the heck? NO?! What do you mean, no? No, she can't sit with us because she doesn't normally? No, she can't sit with us because you hate she's successful? No, she can't sit with us because otherwise she'd know how much you were whining about her group?

What do you mean, no?

I left the table. I told my friends how disgusted I was with them. No. I'd underestimated the power of the word until that day. Anyway, later on I go into the bathroom and she's cut her wrists. She's a cutter and she's cut her wrists because my "friends" told her no, you can't sit with us.

So just know this.


Sticks and stones may break my bones... but words can also hurt me.

I'm not hanging out with these girls anymore. I'm tired of them, their crap and their utter selfishness. I'm tired of hanging around these girls who hate the world because it was here first and they can't blame it for their problems.

They always say "God hates me, he's doing this to me". I usually say "You're doing this to yourself."

I'm so tired of being around fakes, liars, just plain mean nasty people. So I've ditched them. I wonder who will get them from A to B now. None of them can navigate their way around a paper bag, let alone a life without faith.

What possesses people to be so cruel to people who have success, who have made something from nothing and more than that, are enjoying it?

That poor girl slit her wrists because of what my so-called friends did to her. If it weren't so low I would give them a taste of their own medicine. The rest of the year will probably be hard to get through - seventeen year old girls in rural towns are vicious and life-sucking, much like leeches - but at least I won't have to deal with their crap on top of my own.

Just think before you speak. You never know if your words will make or break a person.

"We all imagine ourselves the agents of our destiny, capable of determining our own fate. But have we truly any choice in when we rise, or when we fall, or does a force larger than ourselves bid us our direction? Is it evolution that takes us by the hand, does science point out way... or is it God who intervenes, keeping us safe?" - Mohinder Suresh, Heroes season 1.

I think it's God. How about you?

-a solitary blue.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Your Verse.

A lot of people wish they were perfect. They destroy themselves reaching for something they can never touch, like a distant memory of a deceased love one. They spend hours pouring their lives into their schoolwork or their job and, when most succeed, do they thank God?


People wish they were perfect. Scientists are a few short years away from completing the Human Genome Project - the mapping of every gene in the human body.

"There is no gene for the human spirit." - Vincent Freeman, Gattaca

Their aim is to create the perfect human... to disregard what God has in mind for us and to create, from scratch, a human life. While curing cancer, AIDs, SIDS, and mental illnesses is a great idea... at what point to you draw the line?

Who decides whether your baby has blue eyes or brown eyes? In fact, who's to say, other than God, what colour eyes they should have?

Scientists say they're doing this to eradicate genetic diseases. But without God, some people would never have existed.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN suffered from Marfan Syndrome, a condition that affects the eyes, ears, nose, cardiovascular muscles and other parts of the human body, eating away at the tissue until there's nothing left. Lincoln became one of the most noted philosophers and presidents to have ever lived.

VINCENT VAN GOGH changed the way the world saw art and perceived it, even though he suffered from epilepsy his whole life.

ALBERT EINSTEIN changed the world literally overnight with his theories. He is the reason we have electricity and math theories today. He suffered from dyslexia.

JOHN F. KENNEDY suffered from Addison's disease, a condition that affects the adrenal gland and causes fever, fatigue, trouble standing, hazy vision, joint and muscle pain and changes in mood and personality. He stopped the Cuban missile crisis dead in its tracks. He's the reason the world isn't a toxic wasteland.

RAY CHARLES ROBINSON changed the way the world perceived music. He suffered from primary glaucoma, a disease that destroys the photoreceptors in a person's eyes, rendering them blind. Robinson continued to compose until five years before his death.

STEPHEN HAWKING is the father of all current knowledge about space, time or otherwise, certifiably the most brilliant person that has ever lived. Stephen Hawking suffers from Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, a disease that, much like Motor Neuron Disease, destroys neurons in his body that allow him to move. Diagnosed when he was 22, he was given 3 years to live, at most. 45 years later, he's still putting out theories.

And let's not forget... had genetic engineering been at all possible when our parents were all thinking of conceiving, we might not exist. We could be entirely different people, not happy with ourselves or our lives.

God has a plan for everyone. Whether or not people can see it, it's true. Despite all our physical or mental ailments, He has our lives, our destinies, planned out for us. He loves us and takes care of us in our darkest times. He knows we'll contribute to the fate of the rest of the world.

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love...these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play GOES ON and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?" - John Keating, Dead Poets Society.

God's given you a chance. A chance to write your verse, carve your niche in the world, AS YOU ARE, without PERFECTION, without ACCEPTANCE, really. So what are you going to do? Lament that you're not perfect? Or live in the moment and make your verse as beautiful and as vivid as you possibly can?

Carpe diem.

-a solitary blue.