I'm doing Relay For Life again (why? Why am I doing this? Because it's one sleepless night that could save a little kid's life, that's why) and this year our shirts are lime green. Which is one of my favourite colours :D But yeah, I'm doing it so that maybe I can feel like I've contributed, even just a small amount.
I can't say the same for my friends.
Since we're in year 12 now, we have our own common room, which can be awesome because it's separated from the junior school and also has microwaves and a kettle (noodles and hot chocolate :D) and it can also be pretty awful. That many different people gathered in a room that small? Yeah, we don't exactly all get along.
Anyway, my whole group was sitting at one of the tables (and on them - there were only enough spaces for 8 people and there's 12 of us) and a girl I know from work came over. She's one of the "populars" but she fights with them a lot. She'd had a fight with them today and I'm the only other person she really knows.
She says to me "can I sit with you guys today?" and I say "sure."
The rest of my group, with the exception of Riz, Grace and Enyar, say "no."
What the heck? NO?! What do you mean, no? No, she can't sit with us because she doesn't normally? No, she can't sit with us because you hate she's successful? No, she can't sit with us because otherwise she'd know how much you were whining about her group?
What do you mean, no?
I left the table. I told my friends how disgusted I was with them. No. I'd underestimated the power of the word until that day. Anyway, later on I go into the bathroom and she's cut her wrists. She's a cutter and she's cut her wrists because my "friends" told her no, you can't sit with us.
So just know this.
JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T PULL THE TRIGGER DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT A MURDERER.
Sticks and stones may break my bones... but words can also hurt me.
I'm not hanging out with these girls anymore. I'm tired of them, their crap and their utter selfishness. I'm tired of hanging around these girls who hate the world because it was here first and they can't blame it for their problems.
They always say "God hates me, he's doing this to me". I usually say "You're doing this to yourself."
I'm so tired of being around fakes, liars, just plain mean nasty people. So I've ditched them. I wonder who will get them from A to B now. None of them can navigate their way around a paper bag, let alone a life without faith.
What possesses people to be so cruel to people who have success, who have made something from nothing and more than that, are enjoying it?
That poor girl slit her wrists because of what my so-called friends did to her. If it weren't so low I would give them a taste of their own medicine. The rest of the year will probably be hard to get through - seventeen year old girls in rural towns are vicious and life-sucking, much like leeches - but at least I won't have to deal with their crap on top of my own.
Just think before you speak. You never know if your words will make or break a person.
"We all imagine ourselves the agents of our destiny, capable of determining our own fate. But have we truly any choice in when we rise, or when we fall, or does a force larger than ourselves bid us our direction? Is it evolution that takes us by the hand, does science point out way... or is it God who intervenes, keeping us safe?" - Mohinder Suresh, Heroes season 1.
I think it's God. How about you?
-a solitary blue.