Saturday, October 2, 2010

My quiet little faith.

I've just realised something. I can't tell any of my friends this, 'cause I don't think they'd understand. In fact, I don't think they'd listen. No offence to them or anything, they're great friends, but very wrapped up in themselves.

I've just realised that I have this thing. It's only appeared recently but I call it my quiet little faith; my belief that God does exist. The only thing is, I'm scared to acknowledge that - because what if one day I look up and I realise God's talking, that He's teaching, and nobody's paying attention? What if I look up and realise He's trying to save us from whatever, whoever, and everyone's too busy being skeptical and disbelieving to listen? What if I realise they're all too stubborn to let Him save them? What if there's nothing I can do?

That brings me to another point - what do babies see when they dream? They say that they don't. Dream that is. That they have no words and therefore no meaning to assign to images and sounds, and that therefore even if they do dream it's not anything of substance.

All humans dream, though.

Over fifty percent of pregnancies end in miscarriages, most of them unknown. So tell me; what is it that keeps the remaining fifty percent alive? When I was a kid Mum used to tell me that the moment a baby is conceived life is breathed into it by a shooting star; if God created them then it must be Him breathing life into us, and it must be Him that fuels our desires to flourish, learn, and help people. The point is, God keeps us alive; I want the world to know that. We're all God's children. He loves us.

And yet we're cutting down this planet and harvesting its other children like it's actually ours for the taking. We're destroying the only home we've ever known, and probably will ever know, because even if by some small miracle we start to live on Mars (yeah right) it'll never be home. This will always be the planet that fostered life.

[I've got no more to give
Because I gave it all
Seems like going the distance is unrealistic
We're too far from the start.]

-a solitary blue.

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