For Christmas

So there's this little girl.



Her name is Mikayla Francis.

She was diagnosed with a rare liver cancer back in August. There was a ten centimeter tumor growing on her liver. Treatment started immediately.

Treatment didn't work.

The tumors grew in her lungs as well, despite rigorous chemotherapy and radiation. Mikayla's six. She celebrated both her seventh birthday and Christmas early, two days ago, when doctors advised her parents to move both dates forward.

They don't think she'll be here by Christmas.

Her one fear isn't of dying - her one fear is that people are going to forget her. She begs her parents not to, ask if they'll tell future children about her. She isn't afraid to die, she says, because she reckons "Heaven will be awesome". Her biggest fear is that her friends, family and loved ones will be here on earth.

And she won't.

So to anyone reading this - don't forget Mikayla Francis.

"Life is a journey. Not so much to a destination, but a transformation. You know, looking back, doesn't it sometimes feel like our richest times come right in the midst of our hardest? God made us to live in community, to laugh and cry, to hurt and celebrate with each other no matter what we're going through, and transformation is tough, and we don't always end up where we think we will - but we have to remember, that even when we struggle to believe in Him, He always believes in us. He fills our life with passion and purpose if we just let Him. And you know the best part of the journey is that sometimes the God of the universe sometimes allows us to play a part in changing the world. Isn't that a trip?"

-Chris, "To Save A Life"

So instead of wallowing in my own misery, I'm going to celebrate Mikayla's birthday. I'm going to put her in my little book of inspiration. And I won't forget her. I won't ignore the pain. Instead, I'll pray that God will welcome her with open arms into Heaven and she will be loved.

-a solitary blue.

SUMMER :D

So it's finally summer here. It's got to about 40 degrees Celsius and the pool is AH-MAZE-ING. I've put all my winter clothes away and I've started attempting to squeeze my summer clothes into my teeny weeny cupboard. Needless to say it's slow going!

I also had exams last week. First exam was English. Three hours. Three one-thousand-word essays. It was good, I finished half an hour and then sat there seeing how many times I could go through "ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall" in my head. I lost track when the kid next to me farted and I nearly died.

The next was maths. Finished an hour early because I couldn't do any of it. Got twenty percent. Not too concerned - saw that one coming.

Next was Media - two essays in an hour and a half. I got ninety five percent on that! HELLS YEAH. We had to study the movie Birdy, directed by Alan Parker and starring Nicolas Cage and Matthew Modeine. I'm a huge Cage fan. :D

After that was Literature. We had to write an essay on the themes presented in Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley. I wrote six pages in one hour. I was proud.

And then HD. HD was just HD. A lot of boring irrelevant questions. I think one was "why is smoking bad for you?" and I had a bit of a ":D LOL! Oh, that's a serious question..." reaction.

So I have work later on today and then tomorrow morning as well. I'm thinking about quitting before year twelve because otherwise it's gonna be way too stressful to keep up ten hours a week at work and do all the coursework and apply for universities and focus on my driver's license!

-a solitary blue.

Tagged!

I got a tag! :D I wasn't sure if I was supposed to do both sets of 8 questions on the same tag or just one, but I only have time for one and the next eight, so I picked the most interesting ones!

1. If you could meet anyone currently living, who would you pick? Why?

I would pick the girls in Superchick, because their lyrics are AMAZING.

2. What is your favorite band? Why?

My favourite band right now is Big Time Rush. I'm obsessed with their show because they're four hot guys! Also, their music is so happy and upbeat and I just love being happy and upbeat. It matches summer!

3. What is your least favorite book? Why?

Never had a question like this before! I would have to say Twilight. Sorry to all the people who love twilight, but the characters are bland and lifeless.

4. If you saw someone who was being rude and ugly and hateful, then they dropped their wallet as they walked off, what would you do?

I would give it back to them. Two wrongs don't make a right, and not giving it back would be sinking to their level.

5. What do you get in trouble for most?

I don't really get in trouble, but if it was for anything it would be speaking my mind. I really edit myself here on blogger because I know a lot of nasty words.

6. Pets, what kind(s) if any, name(s), age(s), the whole deal:

Naiyook is my Alaskan Malamute dog, and she's a year old :) she's a precious child! I have two cats, Amy and Squidge. Amy is six and she's a tabby and Squidge is four and he's a ranga. Or ginger. Haha.

7. If, in the future, you were happily married and had a son and daughter, what would their names be? Any particular reason?

Zackary and Paige. I just loooove how traditional Zackary is, and Paige just sounds nice! Also, you can't really make any nasty nicknames from either.

8. If there was one question you'd love to be asked, ask yourself it here, then answer it:

What makes a person good? What makes a person good is when they'll stop to help even the meanest old lady, when they'll babysit when they don't want to, when they'll volunteer, when they'll help a friend on an assignment or lend people money knowing they won't get it back, because to me that shows that they know there are bigger things in life to worry about.

I had fun doing this but I have to go to work and don't have time to write a list myself! I'll post it in my next blog!

-a solitary blue

As it is :)

So life is really good at the moment! I'm feeling really upbeat at the moment, and I finally have some deb pictures to post! Reminder - a deb is like a prom but much more formal and a much bigger deal out here than anything. We spend literally months preparing for this, and only twelve girls per year get to do the deb. It's seen as the night where a girl makes the transition from teenager to woman.

I only have 2 weeks of school left and then 3 months of holidays! WOOT WOOT!

Summer is here! Reorganising the wardrobe! Goodbye winter coat, hello sweet summer dress!

[We're halfway there, we're looking good now
And nothing's gonna get in the way
We're halfway there
And looking back now I never thought that I'd ever say
We're halfway there!]

Summer always cheers me up. It's literally a breath of fresh air. I don't think anybody understands how truly happy it makes me to be able to shoot people with a water pistol and swing off the metal railing of our bungalow and into the pool and send water everywhere. I think they underestimate how healing it is.

Autumn is for shedding old skins. Winter is for rest. Spring is for growth. Summer is for renewal. Summer for me has always been the best time of the year, because while I appreciate being able to curl up under a million blankets with hot chocolate and read I LOVE the sun and I love the wind and I love how it feels like everything is so alive!

Sixteen to seventeen has been the best year of my life so far. I feel like somewhere along the way I stopped being a girl and started being a woman and I like the change. Maybe that change came when Brendan spun me in circles in my white dress all over a dance floor in front of hundreds of people.

[Wait a minute, before you tell me anything
How was your day?
Cause I've been missing you by my side
Did I awake you out of your dream?
I'm sorry but I couldn't sleep
Coming down there's something about the sound of your voice]

I thought that to be happy I didn't need a man to save me, and I don't think I need a man to save me now. But I would like one. I really would. And I think when I did my deb this year, he was the one there when I became that woman.





I felt like the most beautiful girl alive the night of my deb even though the other girls were just as pretty or prettier. I was impervious to all the whispers and I didn't care that everyone was watching - I wanted them to watch. I wanted them to see what I could do. That I'd learned to dance with someone just as hopeless as me.

This, undoubtedly, was the most beautiful night of my life, and the night that I changed completely. I grew and realised that inside and out I was a good, beautiful person, that I didn't have to worry about what other people thought.

Bleah Briann's right - there's nothing wrong with wanting to be a princess.

-a solitary blue

Life

So I can't wait to get out of this town. Everyone here just frustrates me. If they don't know something they make up vindictive, malicious lies about the person who refuses to tell them. Someone started a rumor that my friend is pregnant (which she's not, as she's a virgin) and I'm so sick of looking at people and having them judge every inch of you.

It's ironic to me that people of small-towns try to live up to the supposed reality of city people. The reality is that city people couldn't care less about anyone because they're so busy with their own lives! They don't spend their time hanging around a mall to steal something they don't even want. People do that here because they're bored.

On the other hand, my exams have started and I think most of my friends are ready to self-destruct with the pressure. I work well under pressure. I had my year 12 psych today which counts towards uni, so that's alright, worst is over. Buuuut I still have to my media, human development, maths, english and literature in a week's time. Which annoys me.

And I don't even have time to post anything else because I have to go to work again!

-a solitary blue

Seventeen Years

So I've been alive for 17 years now, and I think I spent at least 15 of those living in blissful ignorance of the world around me. It's only been recently that I've looked around and just had an "oh my... wow" reaction to things.

I've also learned a lot of things that I wish I hadn't, and most of them have been over the past year. I grew so much since February this year it seems insane that I could possibly handle it all, but I did. And I know I had help.

I learned that everything dies. Josh died and even though I knew it was coming, knew it was coming for months before it did, I spent a lot of time angry about it. He was only 18 when he died, only a year older than me, and he's spent so much time in hospital I wondered how he could possibly have learned all the things I had? I didn't see why he had to die. Now I know there is no reason.

Death is death. It doesn't discriminate. And I wish that I was that little girl who believed that the bad guys got what was coming to them and that the good guys got their happily-ever-after.

[Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now]

I learned that the one person who isn't supposed to hurt you probably will. I've learned it's often the person you least expect. I've learned that most people have two sides - who they are, and what you see. I've learned that the effort it takes into carefully cultivating these two faces is effort better spent doing something else.

So I've cut those people out of my life. I don't like fakes. And even more than that, I don't like people who seem like they're fake but they're not, they're just shallow, and those people make me depressed. I hang out with 12 different people and of those 12 I trust 3 - Enyar, Riz, and Jayne. The rest of them? I don't even know them. I've known Elenn since we were in diapers and I don't know who she is anymore.

[I saw a picture of you hanging in an empty hallway
I heard a voice that I knew but I couldn't turn away
It sent me back to the end of everything
I taste it all, I tasted all the tears again]

I've learned that sometimes honesty is not the best policy. Especially not for me. If half the people in my school asked me if I liked them (not that my opinion matters to anybody) I would honestly have to say no. And it's a total drag when people tell you they don't like you. Also, if your friend asks you if you think that boy's hot, how are you supposed to tell her you're taken and just keeping it quiet?

In 17 years I've also had the fortune to meet lots of decent people and learn a lot of things. I've learned that everyone has their demons and that everyone has the ability to beat their demons. My P.E teacher, Mr. Thomas, has worshipped God since he was 13 and suffered from depression for 10 years. I believe that he was saved by God.

That's another thing. I found God. It was a long time coming but I eventually realised that none of this could exist without His intervention. Scientists say humans are just complicated machines. I say to that - machines are all the same and work in the same way. Humans are all different and work in different ways. We can't be machines.

[Take a step before you leap
Into the colours that you seek
Give back what you get anyway
Go all the way back to yesterday]

I've learned that I'm better off alone. I'm not saying it for attention. I just am. Apart for a few special people, generally speaking, I don't like where the species is heading and I'd rather bail than go down with the ship. (Please don't misunderstand. I like people. But I don't like what they represent). I'm sick of seeing ridiculous news paper articles. I'm tired of seeing footballers paid their weight in hundred-dollar bills while kids in third-world countries are suffering.

And yet I love this planet. And I love with everything I have. I don't think I've ever felt before that maybe I'm making a difference. But to two or three people, I am, and I know I am, and it makes me feel like I have a place in this world, like I'm not just wandering around meaninglessly, waiting for destiny to trip me over.

[Before you break you have to shed your own mind
Tell a stranger that they're beautiful
So that all you feel is love]

Signing out. :)

-a solitary blue.

TAG TAG TAG XD

First of all, I love tags.

Second of all, I'm sorry I haven't been blogging!

Third of all (?) I GOT A NEW IPOD NANO AND I AM SO HAPPY.

{1} What time do you wake up each morning? Why?

I get up at 6:40 on a school day because my showers take forever lol. And on Saturdays I get up at seven because I start work at eight. :S

{2} You've just woken up, and you're thirsty. You fix yourself a glass of...

A cup of tea. Probably a glass of orange juice soon because it's heading into summer. <3

{3} Where do you go to school? What do you like/dislike about it?

I got to Red Cliffs Secondary College, six hours from anyplace worth going. I LOVE the people there (for the most part) and I love that year 11's and 12's get their own rooms that we don't share with the junior school so we can study. Downside is that my mum works there so I have to be 100 percent good all the time.

{4} How many siblings do you have? What are their names and ages (if you're allowed to share)?

I have a half-brother on my Dad's side, from a previous marriage. He's Luke and he's 21. He's also awesome. FYI, he doesn't live with me.

{5} What is your favourite game to play with your family?

Oh, that's a tough one. Umm, probably just normal Cluedo, because I always win and Dad's reaction to losing gets me every time. :P

{6} What's the silliest thing you've ever done with your siblings, cousins or any other family member? Would you do it again if you could?

Whenever Luke comes over we attempt to breakdance. We both suck at it (a lot) and so one day we randomly rocked up to a Zumba fitness class. Luke ended up with a strained ligament and i had to drive him to the doctor's and our parents were furious. Yes, I would do this again! hahaha!

{7} What's your favourite game to play with you friends?

Charades. My friends are those kind of people you stare at in the street. Actually, that's where we play charades! And there's 12 of us, so... hahaha.

{8} If you could meet one person in the whole wide world (who's currently alive) who would it be? Why would you want to meet that person? What would you say to them?

Right now? Oh, this is a toughie... Uhhh, probably... Jenny Downham. I am completely in love with her novel "Before I Die". I don't think I'd be able to talk, I'd melt.

{9} If you could meet one person in the whole wide world (from the past) who would it be? Why would you want to meet that person? What would you say to them?

I wanna meet JFK. He was a truly awesome US president. And if I could meet him, I would say "we will bear any burden, pay any price, fight any foe, and do whatever we have to to ensure the continued success of liberty."

{10} What is your favourite way to worship God? Singing, dancing, playing an instrument, praying, fasting?

My P.E teacher holds this thing at recess and lunch time called "Students Alive" which is dedicated to worshipping God. I go every Tuesday and Thursday :)

{11} "God cares about the little things of life." Do you agree? Can you give a specific example of ways that God has shown Himself in the little things of your life?

Of course he does! God created everything that there is. I remember when I was at Josh's funeral, I just thought that everything was dead or had to die eventually, and that the cemetary was a place of death, but a butterfly landed on my hair just as I thought that.

{12} Is there a particular Bible verse that has stood out to you recently? Which verse and why?

John 3:16... "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the trust. Love never fails."

{13} Your parents are out for the day, leaving you home alone (with your siblings). Then, your grandmother from out of state calls and says she'll be there in fifteen minutes. (She wasn't supposed to come until tomorrow). What do you do?

I grab my licence, my next door neighbour and drive up to the supermarket to get something to feed her because she's allergic to everything! (I only have a learner's permit so I need an adult in the car -.-)

{14} Have you ever traveled out of countru? Why did you go?

I've been to America (I live in Australia) New Zealand, Raratonga, and Fiji. We went for holidays! Oh, America was a submarine reunion my dad was invited to.

{15} What sport do you play and what do you enjoy about it?

Soccer!!! I love being able to kick something as hard as I want without getting in trouble (I kick things when I'm angry).

{16} Do you like cats or dogs better? If neither, specify:

I used to like cats, but then I got Naiyook and now I like dogs. I just love how friendly and nice dogs are. My cats are evil and they scare me.

{17} Country or city?

City. Only because I've lived in the country my entire life and everyone gossips about everyone. In the city, nobody cares who you are.

{18} Cowboy hat or prairie bonnet?

I don't know what a prairie bonnet is and I hate cowboy hats unless they're worn in context!

{19} Flip flops or tennis shoes?

Are Converse considered tennis shoes? If so then Converse.

{20} Do you like my (Ayla Gray's) blog?

I wish I had more to post about! Otherwise I love it :)

Rather than tag everybody - copy, paste and do it if you want to! Thanks to all the people following and thanks to Bleah Briann for sending them over here! XD

-a solitary blue.